In Lebanon, we have this look, this moment of silence when someone asks 'how are you?'. It's like a dreaded question that reminds you that you're dead inside. We don't even need to answer anymore, we just nod at each other. But it's different when a non-Lebanese person asks. Somehow, without realising it, I started answering 'I'm feeling a bit better'. That's not even close to being true though. I think I'm just tired of not being OK. I feel like a broken record so I wear my

The explosion that hit Beirut on Tuesday 4 August still hits us everyday. The sight of the city is that of an aftermath of months of heavy fighting. If I didn't know those streets, I would think they're all very old buildings still left from the civil war. Those who know me know that I am a fighter and that I have been fighting very difficult battles for at least seven years. When bad things happen, I am usually fuelled by rage not by fear and like most of the Lebanese popula